Meet June the Jetta!

well friends, here's an announcement i'm terribly excited to make…i bought a car!

my brother had an unfortunate accident in my car last june and i've been without one ever since. not a big deal since i live and home and my mom & i work at the same place, but still kind of a bummer.  for the first time in my 8 years of being a licensed driver, i didn't have a car!  

i decided a few months ago that it was high time that i get myself some wheels, but i didn't just want any car.  i wanted one that was going to last me a while, that would be a good car for aj & i to have once we get married/move/become adults, ya know.  and i've always loved vw's, and always have had my eye on a jetta!  so i found this little girl down in west chester and my uncle, dad, and i went last tuesday and i drove her home!

i'm absolutely loving her…she's pretty much everything i wanted and we're pretty perfect for each other…see?  don't i look like a jetta girl?

and of course, she couldn't leave the dealership without a name, so june the jetta it was!

do you name your cars?  

Girl Talk // Be Authentic

My friend Lacy is probably one of the most real, authentic, genuine people I know.  We went to college together and I had a friend crush from her from afar for a few semesters.  She was the bubbly redhead with the amazing voice who I always thought I'd like to get to know better.  It wasn't until we were both accepted into The Elijah Project, a faith and vocation crash course of sorts, that we really got to know one another.  After that, we lived together for our junior year and my senior semester, and even had nearly identical schedules that last semester of school.

The thing that I love about Lacy, though, isn't just her smile or sense of humor, it's the way she welcomes you into conversation and without ever having to say it, invites you to bear your soul if you so choose.  She has that unique ability to make you feel like you're the most important person in her world when she's talking to you.

I had the pleasure of visiting Lacy in her little apartment that she shares with her husband Austin, in the bottom floor of an underclassman dorm where she mentors 80-some underclassmen on our alma mater's campus.  And in the brief hour or so that we spent together, it was like no time at all had passed.

Lacy's example of authenticity, of being intentional and taking the time to really listen to others, of finding genuine ways to show the love to Christ to not only her nearest and dearest, but everyone she comes across, and of being able to truly and deeply engage in both conversations and relationships is one that I've always held in high regard.  

I'm sure she'd blush at this post (and Lace, if you're reading, know that every word is so true!!), but I desire to be a little more like Lacy.  A little more thoughtful, a little more intentional, and a whole lot more authentic. 

This morning, a friend at church commented on how I was walking through our crowded atrium wearing a serene smile.  I laughed it off, saying it was my "it's Sunday morning and I'm on staff at a church and must look constantly friendly" smile.  And immediately, I hated what I had said.  The last thing I want to be is someone who wears a smile and even jokes about it being an obligation!

We live in a society that makes authenticity really hard.  Everything is so instant, so right now, that it can take some serious effort to stop and really see people.  I'm not necessarily talking about just the realm of social media, though I've blogged about that in the past, but of a deeper connection with others.  I honestly am not sure when I last had a conversation with someone and didn't look at my phone at least once!  

I desire to dig deep and create authentic and real relationships with people.  And if we have that desire as humans, how much more do you think God desires that with us?  God created us to be in relationship with Him, but so often our quiet times, our prayers, our worship, even, is rushed.  We're constantly distracted by other things and other thoughts, and if it takes effort to focus when we're in conversation with real, physical people sitting in front of us, how much more effort does it take to focus on a very present, if slightly less observable, God?

Authenticity is hard.  There's just no two ways about it.  Really investing in other people can be exhausting and emotional at times.  But those relationships that you truly dig deep into, those friends, are the best ones to have.  

So, because I like lists, and like to be practical, here are a few things I think are baby steps on the road to authenticity....

1.  Learn to be grateful.  And joyful.  If you've ever met someone who is truly an authentic person, you've probably also realized that they also wear gratitude like it's their favorite accessory.

2.  Slow down.  Take time to have a conversation, even if it means being a few minutes late.  Write a letter and send it through the mail because people feel special when they get a hand-written letter.

3.  Clear the distractions.  In your quiet time, throw on some worship music and find a spot free of distraction. If you're having coffee with a friend, be intentional about turning off your phone or leaving it in your car.  Get rid of the things that tempt you to disengage.

Do you have more to add to this list?  Let's chat!

GIRL TALK | BE AUTHENTIC

My friend Lacy is probably one of the most real, authentic, genuine people I know.  We went to college together and I had a friend crush from her from afar for a few semesters.  She was the bubbly redhead with the amazing voice who I always thought I'd like to get to know better.  It wasn't until we were both accepted into The Elijah Project, a faith and vocation crash course of sorts, that we really got to know one another.  After that, we lived together for our junior year and my senior semester, and even had nearly identical schedules that last semester of school.

The thing that I love about Lacy, though, isn't just her smile or sense of humor, it's the way she welcomes you into conversation and without ever having to say it, invites you to bear your soul if you so choose.  She has that unique ability to make you feel like you're the most important person in her world when she's talking to you.

I had the pleasure of visiting Lacy in her little apartment that she shares with her husband Austin, in the bottom floor of an underclassman dorm where she mentors 80-some underclassmen on our alma mater's campus.  And in the brief hour or so that we spent together, it was like no time at all had passed.

Lacy's example of authenticity, of being intentional and taking the time to really listen to others, of finding genuine ways to show the love to Christ to not only her nearest and dearest, but everyone she comes across, and of being able to truly and deeply engage in both conversations and relationships is one that I've always held in high regard.  

I'm sure she'd blush at this post (and Lace, if you're reading, know that every word is so true!!), but I desire to be a little more like Lacy.  A little more thoughtful, a little more intentional, and a whole lot more authentic. 

This morning, a friend at church commented on how I was walking through our crowded atrium wearing a serene smile.  I laughed it off, saying it was my "it's Sunday morning and I'm on staff at a church and must look constantly friendly" smile.  And immediately, I hated what I had said.  The last thing I want to be is someone who wears a smile and even jokes about it being an obligation!

We live in a society that makes authenticity really hard.  Everything is so instant, so right now, that it can take some serious effort to stop and really see people.  I'm not necessarily talking about just the realm of social media, though I've blogged about that in the past, but of a deeper connection with others.  I honestly am not sure when I last had a conversation with someone and didn't look at my phone at least once!  

I desire to dig deep and create authentic and real relationships with people.  And if we have that desire as humans, how much more do you think God desires that with us?  God created us to be in relationship with Him, but so often our quiet times, our prayers, our worship, even, is rushed.  We're constantly distracted by other things and other thoughts, and if it takes effort to focus when we're in conversation with real, physical people sitting in front of us, how much more effort does it take to focus on a very present, if slightly less observable, God?

Authenticity is hard.  There's just no two ways about it.  Really investing in other people can be exhausting and emotional at times.  But those relationships that you truly dig deep into, those friends, are the best ones to have.  

So, because I like lists, and like to be practical, here are a few things I think are baby steps on the road to authenticity....

1.  Learn to be grateful.  And joyful.  If you've ever met someone who is truly an authentic person, you've probably also realized that they also wear gratitude like it's their favorite accessory.

2.  Slow down.  Take time to have a conversation, even if it means being a few minutes late.  Write a letter and send it through the mail because people feel special when they get a hand-written letter.

3.  Clear the distractions.  In your quiet time, throw on some worship music and find a spot free of distraction. If you're having coffee with a friend, be intentional about turning off your phone or leaving it in your car.  Get rid of the things that tempt you to disengage.

Do you have more to add to this list?  Let's chat!

Girl Talk // The Waiting Game

Part of what I've always wanted for this blog, and really, what it's been from time to time, is for it to be a place where friends can stop, sit down with a cup of tea or coffee, and browse, feeling refreshed or encouraged or that they maybe gained something, whether it be a new recipe or some new insight or just having found a like-minded friend. And so let me take a moment to acknowledge the fact that most of those readers are women, and as women, we like to talk about boys.

So can I do that?  Awesome.  Thanks.

Two weeks ago, my dear friend Alayna and I visited some senior high girls at a camp, where she spoke to them about purity and having a Godly view of relationships.  She did an absolutely fantastic job, by the way.

Sitting in that chapel took me back to my years as a camper (and eventually a counselor) at that same camp, always looking forward to that girls chapel, but always knowing what the ultimate advice would be for a single girl like me..."wait".

(Before I move on, Iet me clear the air...you might be thinking "uhhh...I'm pretty sure you're not single." Yes, I'm not. But I was. For a long time. And I have some thoughts about that waiting game, so stick with me, ok?)

I spent pretty much all of my middle school, high school, college, and even a few post-college years waiting.  And so I know, waiting is exhausting.  So many times, we impress upon young Christian women that they should just wait...wait on God, wait on the "right" guy, wait on themselves.  Trust me, I'm not knocking that advice...it's good to wait.  But I also think that so much of what young girls read and hear is that that waiting game will eventually pay off, as long as they just bide their time.

Here's the thing...it's about so much more than just biding time.  The church tells single women that they need to seek God and become complete in Him and then He'll deliver Mr. Right.  We tell girls that they don't need a guy in their lives, but does our culture (and I'm talking about church culture) really say that?

I spent so much of that waiting working on seeking the Lord whole-heartedly and trying so hard to put aside those desires, but if I'm being perfectly honest, I had grown up with the expectation that as long as I followed the rules and made it look like I didn't need a guy, it would eventually pay off, and I'd eventually have that storybook romance.  God would bring my Prince Charming riding in on a white horse.

But God doesn't always.  I know plenty of women who are amazing mentors and who are fulfilling God's purpose for their lives without a guy by their side...and not by their own choice.

I doubt that many of those women sat at camp and shrugged off that "girl talk" chapel because they just didn't have an interest in a relationship.  And while I'm currently not one of those women, I easily could have been.

There's no recipe, no science behind meeting and falling in love with the right guy.  Frankly, until AJ and I are both wearing rings, there's no guarantee beyond the commitment that we've made in a dating relationship that we will never be single again.

So now that I've ripped down most of what Christian culture tells young, single women, what would I suggest instead?

Here are three simple things...maybe they'll lead you to eventually finding your future spouse, maybe not, that's not the point.  But I think that at the end of the day, you'll be a happier and healthier (emotionally AND spiritually) person for it.

1.  Stop searching.  Seriously...one of the biggest things I did for myself when I was in the land of singledom was to just stop looking.  Stop eyeing up every guy you see thinking (is he my future husband?).  And I'm not saying this in a "as soon as you stop looking, God will bring him to you" sort of way...there's no science, remember!?!

2.  Make a list of qualities that the person you want to become would have and make a list of all the things you can do because you're single.  Do you need to work on being more humble?  A better listener?  Do you want to go on a trip with your friends?  Move to a new city?  I recently listened to an Andy Stanley sermon in which he said "You'll never have more time than when you're single."  It's true.  I'm not even married and I know it's true.  A dating relationship takes time.  If you're dating with the intent of it ending in matrimony, it means you now have someone else to consider in just about every decision, and a future that doesn't just include you any more.  Making lists like this will help you to rejoice in your singleness instead of viewing it as a curse, which, if you're anything like me, you do.

3.  Get involved.  Serve at your church.  Join a small group.  Take a class.  First of all, it's a great way to fill time and contribute.  But also, getting involved will align you with other like-minded individuals.  Individuals who care about the same things you do.  Maybe one of those will be the person you spend the rest of your life with, maybe not.  That's not the point...you're supposed to stop searching, remember?  The point is that getting involved will help you to create deep and meaningful relationships with others who have similar values, and that, in itself, is invaluable.

So that's my take on the waiting game.  I'm no expert; I'm just a girl who didn't date until I was in my twenties but still had her heart broken over things she never had, all while "waiting" on the Lord.  So if you're 16 and reading this, I hope you take this advice to heart and don't waste this part of your life searching and waiting for and idolizing a relationship...and if you're in your twenties or thirties and reading this, I hope you can find some encouragement in it.

I love girl talk, so you know where to find me if you need me.

GIRL TALK | THE WAITING GAME

Part of what I've always wanted for this blog, and really, what it's been from time to time, is for it to be a place where friends can stop, sit down with a cup of tea or coffee, and browse, feeling refreshed or encouraged or that they maybe gained something, whether it be a new recipe or some new insight or just having found a like-minded friend. And so let me take a moment to acknowledge the fact that most of those readers are women, and as women, we like to talk about boys.

So can I do that?  Awesome.  Thanks.

Two weeks ago, my dear friend Alayna and I visited some senior high girls at a camp, where she spoke to them about purity and having a Godly view of relationships.  She did an absolutely fantastic job, by the way.

Sitting in that chapel took me back to my years as a camper (and eventually a counselor) at that same camp, always looking forward to that girls chapel, but always knowing what the ultimate advice would be for a single girl like me..."wait".

(Before I move on, Iet me clear the air...you might be thinking "uhhh...I'm pretty sure you're not single." Yes, I'm not. But I was. For a long time. And I have some thoughts about that waiting game, so stick with me, ok?)

I spent pretty much all of my middle school, high school, college, and even a few post-college years waiting.  And so I know, waiting is exhausting.  So many times, we impress upon young Christian women that they should just wait...wait on God, wait on the "right" guy, wait on themselves.  Trust me, I'm not knocking that advice...it's good to wait.  But I also think that so much of what young girls read and hear is that that waiting game will eventually pay off, as long as they just bide their time.

Here's the thing...it's about so much more than just biding time.  The church tells single women that they need to seek God and become complete in Him and then He'll deliver Mr. Right.  We tell girls that they don't need a guy in their lives, but does our culture (and I'm talking about church culture) really say that?

I spent so much of that waiting working on seeking the Lord whole-heartedly and trying so hard to put aside those desires, but if I'm being perfectly honest, I had grown up with the expectation that as long as I followed the rules and made it look like I didn't need a guy, it would eventually pay off, and I'd eventually have that storybook romance.  God would bring my Prince Charming riding in on a white horse.

But God doesn't always.  I know plenty of women who are amazing mentors and who are fulfilling God's purpose for their lives without a guy by their side...and not by their own choice.

I doubt that many of those women sat at camp and shrugged off that "girl talk" chapel because they just didn't have an interest in a relationship.  And while I'm currently not one of those women, I easily could have been.

There's no recipe, no science behind meeting and falling in love with the right guy.  Frankly, until AJ and I are both wearing rings, there's no guarantee beyond the commitment that we've made in a dating relationship that we will never be single again.

So now that I've ripped down most of what Christian culture tells young, single women, what would I suggest instead?

Here are three simple things...maybe they'll lead you to eventually finding your future spouse, maybe not, that's not the point.  But I think that at the end of the day, you'll be a happier and healthier (emotionally AND spiritually) person for it.

1.  Stop searching.  Seriously...one of the biggest things I did for myself when I was in the land of singledom was to just stop looking.  Stop eyeing up every guy you see thinking (is he my future husband?).  And I'm not saying this in a "as soon as you stop looking, God will bring him to you" sort of way...there's no science, remember!?!

2.  Make a list of qualities that the person you want to become would have and make a list of all the things you can do because you're single.  Do you need to work on being more humble?  A better listener?  Do you want to go on a trip with your friends?  Move to a new city?  I recently listened to an Andy Stanley sermon in which he said "You'll never have more time than when you're single."  It's true.  I'm not even married and I know it's true.  A dating relationship takes time.  If you're dating with the intent of it ending in matrimony, it means you now have someone else to consider in just about every decision, and a future that doesn't just include you any more.  Making lists like this will help you to rejoice in your singleness instead of viewing it as a curse, which, if you're anything like me, you do.

3.  Get involved.  Serve at your church.  Join a small group.  Take a class.  First of all, it's a great way to fill time and contribute.  But also, getting involved will align you with other like-minded individuals.  Individuals who care about the same things you do.  Maybe one of those will be the person you spend the rest of your life with, maybe not.  That's not the point...you're supposed to stop searching, remember?  The point is that getting involved will help you to create deep and meaningful relationships with others who have similar values, and that, in itself, is invaluable.

So that's my take on the waiting game.  I'm no expert; I'm just a girl who didn't date until I was in my twenties but still had her heart broken over things she never had, all while "waiting" on the Lord.  So if you're 16 and reading this, I hope you take this advice to heart and don't waste this part of your life searching and waiting for and idolizing a relationship...and if you're in your twenties or thirties and reading this, I hope you can find some encouragement in it.

I love girl talk, so you know where to find me if you need me.

{THANKFUL THURSDAY} THOUGHTS ON TRANSITION

the term "transition" has been one that has defined my life for the past six years or so.  there was the transition into college.  the transitions home for breaks and then back to school at the end of them.  the transition back home for "good" when i graduated.  the transition into a job and grad school.  and now, i find myself on the brink of yet another transition, a transition out of that job and into a student teaching placement and my last semester of my master's work.

when i first started off into this season of life, these changes were new and exciting, but also terrifying.  during my first two years of college, i was homesick.  i cried.  a lot.  i went through the inevitable season of not knowing where my life was headed and of changing everything i ever thought i'd do.  and then, sometime in my junior year, i stopped letting these transitions scare me and started embracing them as the season of life i was in.  i'm sure it had a lot to do with the people i was living with at the time, and probably also the fact that i was just, well, growing up.

transition is one of those things that can seem daunting.  it's big, it's unknown.  but there's also an excitement and a beauty to it.  as it is now, i'm looking ahead to january, preparing myself for early mornings and days spent with sticky fingers, multiplication tables, and chapter books.  and i'm excited.  i'm thankful, even, for the opportunity that this new transition presents.  the opportunity to use my gifts and find my fit in a profession i'm passionate about and want to give my life to.

what are you thankful for this thursday?

growth and where i was a year ago...

via

the other day, I was reading old blog posts.
do you ever do that?  you start looking for a specific thing and then somehow you're swept into the past, reading things you forgot you posted.
and all of a sudden it hit me, i'm such a different person than i was a year ago.
a different person than when i wrote this.  or this.  or this.
but there are still some things that are the same.  like my thoughts on hope.

a year ago, i was in the midst of heartbreak.  maybe you've been there: you've invested in a relationship (in this case, yes, it was a boy) and then things suddenly, without much explanation, crumbled.  honestly, it was my first time in that place.  the place of being confused and not understanding what happened and being just sad and discontented and angry.  i was angry.

i wrote vague blog posts, vented to friends who were states away, and cried on my mom's bed. somewhere along the way i decided to be angry at God, and so i stopped praying and seeking His comfort and started asking questions like "haven't You been preparing me for a relationship?" and "what did i do wrong?" and "wasn't 21 years of singleness enough?"

i let the situation marinate and eat at me for far too long.  and then, sometime around christmas, i stopped and got over it.  of course, it wasn't that easy.  but essentially, i realized that i had spent too much time on a relationship that a) God was clearly leading me away from and b) wasn't all that good or healthy to begin with.

and then, when i least expected it, God answered all of those prayers and fulfilled the desires of my heart. aj and i started hanging out on a regular basis at the start of the new year and somehow without me noticing, he crept into my heart and became one of my closest friends, and eventually, we recognized that our feelings for one another had grown beyond friendship.  and i realized that God was preparing me for a relationship, but i had just been looking at the wrong person for that.  and when the right person came along, it was so much better than i ever even imagined.

there's such a beauty to looking back and realizing how much can change in a year.  to recognizing the mistakes you made and deciding to grow from them.  to not regretting, but learning.  to being grateful and hopeful and content.  to understanding what it means to put someone else's needs before your own and to delight in doing so.  and to approaching the good and the inevitable bad with a gracious spirit, not that i've perfected that by any means, but i'm learning.

and learning is part of the beauty of life.

To Pittsburgh for a Wedding.

My cousin, Matt, and his new wife, Chelsea, got married this past Saturday in Pittsburgh.  I was in the wedding, so my brother and other cousin and I trekked out on Wednesday to spend some time helping to prepare for the big day!

Here are some of my instagram shots from last week:

Bachelorette Party!

We all painted a mug & saucer for Chelsea, she painted a tea pot.

With the flower girl!

These two found a piano after the rehearsal dinner.

 

Hopefully I'll post some (real) photos eventually!

dear me,

Will you do yourself a favor and hold on to the lessons that you're learning here and now? 

See, they're not all that fun to learn the first time around, so it would be a really good idea to save yourself the aggravation of having to learn them again later on.

The lessons that are teaching you to:

let it go

choose happiness

lean on the ones you love

do everything with grace

The lessons that are tough to put into practice:

to not be angry

to control your emotions rather than letting them control you

to speak the truth in love

to give God complete control

Here's the thing...you've been learning these lessons for a while now.  And maybe you'll never be at a point where you can say "I now know that.  There's no more to learn on that subject."  

And that's okay.

The point here is to keep these lessons in the front of your mind.  Give them prime real estate.  

Because I have a feeling you'll need them again someday, and they'll be a lot easier to utilize if you're already practicing them on a daily basis.

love,

me.

hope is the thing with feathers

I've been learning a lot about hope these days, particularly about having hope in a season where I think it would be easier to abandon it entirely.

But that's the thing about having faith in a God who has my best interests at heart.

In the times when I'd like to just walk away, I know better.

I once blogged about feeling like I didn't really know what it meant to hope after I heard a dear friend share her heart on the tough ways she learned to hope. On Saturday, I had a conversation with that same friend that put things into perspective once again.  

I think Emily Dickinson hit the nail on the head when she wrote that hope never stops and never asks anything of us, but I think she was off a little when she described it as "the thing with feathers".  

Because hope has a weight to it. 

It meets you right where you are and picks you up and helps you walk on.

It whispers encouragement and holds you accountable.  

 It reminds you that the thing that you long for the most and search for so avidly won't be fulfilled by this world, but by Jesus Christ. 

And most of all, it paves the way for joy.

dear future self,

Can I get real with you for a second?


These days, I've been a jumbled mess of emotion & confusion.  And I don't like it.


So here's the thing:  you need to work on that being content thing.  Maybe it's not even so much about being content as it is about being at peace and just living.  Stop overthinking everything; stop worrying.


Learn to fully appreciate where you are in life when you're in the thick of it.


And for goodness sake, stop talking.  Find the two or three people in your life who really do know you and your heart and share the details with them.  Because Lord knows, unsolicited advice really only helps to confuse you more.


On the bright side, we both know you'll come out of this splendidly.  Life gets messy sometimes, but in the end, you'll be just fine.


love,
me.

Oh, the joys of being 6

This is on a magnet in my friend, Emily's, apartment.  I think its great.  And who wouldn't want to be a ballerina gymnast veterinarian horseback-riding princess?  This girl has the right idea.

On the eve of graduation festivities:

Woah baby.

I thought this week would probably be a breeze.  I've been out and about in the world for 5 months now, I have a little piece of paper that says I have a Bachelor's degree, I have a job, heck, I'm even starting grad school on Monday.  This week was supposed to be a vacation, a time to reconnect with some friends, maybe lay on the beach, eat everything that I love and can only get on the North Shore...

But here I sit (at Starbucks, again.) and as I'm reflecting on the conversations I've had this week, I'm flooded with a mix of emotions.  Really, its not fair.  I already did 10 separate blog posts about this place back in December.  I already went through the month or two (or five) of feeling brokenhearted and hopeful, lost and at home.  I already navigated the waters of learning to identify myself as something other than student.  This was just supposed to be the celebratory part!  

But now, I'm watching dear friends get ready to make the transition into the "real world" and its just fully beginning to hit:  its over.  This season of life where I've changed and grown and learned and loved and cried.  This chapter is ending.  I know I said in my last post that I'm ready to start the next one.  I stand by that...I'm ready to move forward and see what's on the next page.  But I can't lie, I really wish the same characters could be in the next chapter.  I think somewhere in the back of my mind and the depths of my heart, I've always just thought I'd come back to Gordon and life would go on the way it has for the past four years.  (I know, I know, how dense am I?  The reality should have been pretty obvious)

And here's where this post gets to be like a Shakespearean sonnet, with a twist at the end:  I'm so excited that life isn't continuing on as it has, because I can't wait to watch these friends get out there and do something with what they've learned. I can't wait for us to watch each other change the world and be able to say, "hey!  i know them!"

So, thank you, Jesus, for blessing me with the opportunity to spend a season of my life in this place.  I couldn't have asked for or imagined a better place to spend the last four years.

And finally, world, life, and adulthood:  bring it on.


(And just another shout-out to Jesus...thanks for putting people in my life that remind my that I'm only 21 and I have a lifetime ahead of me.  Thanks for the friends that help me keep things in perspective, not take myself too seriously, and remind me to just have fun.  They are medicine for my heart.)

#8: Union Congregational

Eighth on the list is my church, Union Congregational UCC of Magnolia, MA.  I've loved getting to be a part of this community over the past year and a half.  I've loved building relationships and hanging out with our pastor's wife during knitting club.  I loved going to the Women's Advent gathering just last week, even though I got smoked during a gift-wrapping competition.  I love that we take time each Sunday to hear and pray for the concerns of the community.  Its been a joy to once again be a part of a small congregation, and to be so welcomed into it that it truly feels like home.

Excuse me while I go finish off that box of tissues Emily just bought.

#10: The Elijah Project

I have ten days left at Gordon.  

Ten days to be completely present in the relationships I've built over the past few years.  

Ten days of classes, papers, exams, and packing.  

Ten days of being a college student.

I've been pretty absent from the blogging world for the past few weeks.  I haven't had time to take many photos, and having to take them for a class has sort of sucked some of my creativity in that field out of me.  And I haven't had much to say; I've been doing a lot of internal (ok, and external, in the form of venting to my roommate) processing, wrestling with the fact that in a little over a week, I'll be done.  Outta here.  Skeedattled.  But I thought I'd leave a mark on my last ten days here by posting one thing (out of a list of many) that I'm going to miss about this place.

First off, the Elijah Project.  Now, this one probably shouldn't count.  In fact, that's why I placed it last:  because its a bit of a stretch, not because I'll miss it least.  I finished the EP last May when I moved out of Dexter House.  But its still an everyday part of my Gordon experience in the fact that I'm surrounded by the people, the language, the ideas that are central to the project.  The EP played a gigantic role in who I am today and the direction that my life is taking.  My classmates and our instructors, the Carmers, affirmed my strengths, supported me in the midst of big, life-altering decisions, and gave me hope and inspiration.  The readings that we did provided me with a new lens with which I now view the world.  I get so excited when I think of the amazing things that Lacy, Jae, Emily, Willie, Cassie, Rob, Christine, Erika, Ian, Tim, Ben, Dan, and Becky will be, or already are, doing with their lives.  These people are agents of change, and are poised and ready to seek God's will first and follow Him wholeheartedly.

This was the first group picture we ever took.  I remember coming home from this weekend and saying "I love these people!!!"  A year of living together later, I still feel the same way.  :)

Excuse me while I go cry my eyes out.

birthday haiku

feeling loved today

wearing a pretty skirt

twenty-one

(is that a haiku?  i don't know.  i was never good with poetry.)

and now....a birthday song that I'm currently addicted to.  

(ok, its not really related to birthday stuff, but I love it, so I'm sharing it.)

Home. (or, By George! I think I'm growing up!)

As I was catching up on friends' blogs today, I came across a post written by my dear friend Sarah about home.  I know I've blogged about this in the past, but its that time of year again, and here I am, getting ready to uproot and move to another home.  Usually when mid-August rolls around, I'm filled with equal amounts of excitement and dread.  I'm always excited to see friends and (ever the nerd) even excited to start new classes.  But I always dread leaving home.  This year, though, something is different.  I'm not sure why or how, but I do know that I'm excited, no, beside myself, with the thought of packing up my car on Sunday and driving up to Massachusetts.  Perhaps its the fact that I'm moving into an apartment, or maybe its the classes that I'm taking, but at a time when I'm usually heartbroken and welcoming a familiar friend called knot-in-my-stomach to spend a few days with me, I'm totally at ease and just excited to see what the next few months hold.
I think I've finally grown comfortable in this state of never really feeling at home.  It seems that at some point over the past year, I've learned that it is an adventure, and that I want to be adventurous.  A year ago, if I had known I was graduating early, I would have been in a frenzy of planning and panicking.  But for some reason, I'm completely laid back about it all.  I think I'm supposed to be freaking out a little.  But right now, there seems to be this still, small voice that keeps saying, "sit back, enjoy these days, it'll all work out."  And I know it will.  I may not have a permanent home for a while.  Heck, I might not even know where home is for a while.  But that's okay.  It's part of the adventure.  And I'm so ready to take it on.

Starting with a little roadtrip on Sunday.

Mark

Today I took my little bro, Mark, and our cousin, Zac, on a photo shoot.  Mark's a rising senior (gasp!...how is that possible?!?!) and so I was super excited to take some pics of him to document this exciting little milestone.

He and Zac are also musicians (if you couldn't tell).  So we decided to shoot some pictures for them to use as promos and on Myspace/Facebook/demos.

And since I did it with Catherine,

here's 10 things I LOVE about Mark:

1.  He's my brother.  I sort of have to love him.  :)

2.  He makes me laugh.

3.  He's a great role model.

4.  He loves Jesus more than his luggage.

5.  He is incredibly talented.

6.  He is compassionate.

7.  Even at 17 and 20, he was game for having a sleepover the night before I went to Zim.

8.  He's a great friend.

9.  We used to watch cartoons at like, 2 am, when we stayed at our grandparents during the summers.  Those were some good bonding times.

10.  He makes me so proud to be his big sis.