a visit with friends

Last Sunday, I got a call from Nicole (below, in the black coat), asking what my lunch plans were for Monday.  Nicole's in grad school at NYU, so I figured she probably just wanted to have a phone or Skype date over my lunch break.  Turns out, she had a very different plan in mind.  

She happened to have a car for the week and the day off, so she swung by Hannah's (below, gray sweater, red scarf) house, picked her up, and they both drove all the way to PA to spend an afternoon with me!

Words can't describe how blessed I am to have friends like these two.  We all spent a semester living in an apartment together last fall, and when I graduated in December, the biggest heartbreak of leaving Gordon was leaving people like this.  As I've adjusted to life back at home, I've realized how valuable surrounding yourself with like-minded people truly is.  Gordon was a place where I grew and changed, and was really known.  I'm definitely still learning and growing here in PA, but spending a short afternoon with these girls renewed a part of me that hadn't gotten a lot of attention in a while.  Our conversation drifted from boys to racial stigmas to life in our parent's homes.  We grabbed lunch and a cupcake, took a tour of Reading, and ended up at my house drinking tea and reflecting on all the ways the Gordon community changed and molded us and our world views.   

In a lot of ways, it was the perfect afternoon.

indian summer

Here in the northeast, we're experiencing a bit of an indian summer.

I'm not complaining.

These are some photos that I took in Rockport, Mass this weekend while I was visiting for Gordon's homecoming (my first as an alum!).  It was a beautiful weekend!

memories

Its been a year since I was starting my senior year of college. 

That means its been a year since I spent a fun afternoon doing a photo shoot with these girls.

These girls that can: 

warm a heart, 

talk about theology & philosophy & politics & food & boys at 1 am...any day of the week, 

eat a cake that was baked out of coping with studying for a big exam, 

and laugh at any hour of the day, 

And right now, I find myself particularly missing them.

So, instead of doing the homework I need to be doing right now, I've instead pulled out old fabulous pictures and am reminiscing and laughing to myself about the memories that we made together.

If I'm ever so blessed as to share an apartment or house with some of my best friends ever again, I think I'll die and go to heaven.

Graduation.

All the pomp & circumstance is over.  I'm (officially officially) done with college.

And I started grad school last Monday.

On the eve of graduation festivities:

Woah baby.

I thought this week would probably be a breeze.  I've been out and about in the world for 5 months now, I have a little piece of paper that says I have a Bachelor's degree, I have a job, heck, I'm even starting grad school on Monday.  This week was supposed to be a vacation, a time to reconnect with some friends, maybe lay on the beach, eat everything that I love and can only get on the North Shore...

But here I sit (at Starbucks, again.) and as I'm reflecting on the conversations I've had this week, I'm flooded with a mix of emotions.  Really, its not fair.  I already did 10 separate blog posts about this place back in December.  I already went through the month or two (or five) of feeling brokenhearted and hopeful, lost and at home.  I already navigated the waters of learning to identify myself as something other than student.  This was just supposed to be the celebratory part!  

But now, I'm watching dear friends get ready to make the transition into the "real world" and its just fully beginning to hit:  its over.  This season of life where I've changed and grown and learned and loved and cried.  This chapter is ending.  I know I said in my last post that I'm ready to start the next one.  I stand by that...I'm ready to move forward and see what's on the next page.  But I can't lie, I really wish the same characters could be in the next chapter.  I think somewhere in the back of my mind and the depths of my heart, I've always just thought I'd come back to Gordon and life would go on the way it has for the past four years.  (I know, I know, how dense am I?  The reality should have been pretty obvious)

And here's where this post gets to be like a Shakespearean sonnet, with a twist at the end:  I'm so excited that life isn't continuing on as it has, because I can't wait to watch these friends get out there and do something with what they've learned. I can't wait for us to watch each other change the world and be able to say, "hey!  i know them!"

So, thank you, Jesus, for blessing me with the opportunity to spend a season of my life in this place.  I couldn't have asked for or imagined a better place to spend the last four years.

And finally, world, life, and adulthood:  bring it on.


(And just another shout-out to Jesus...thanks for putting people in my life that remind my that I'm only 21 and I have a lifetime ahead of me.  Thanks for the friends that help me keep things in perspective, not take myself too seriously, and remind me to just have fun.  They are medicine for my heart.)

Senior Formal

Here's a few of the photos I took at senior formal in Boston on Saturday night. It was an interesting evening...I enjoyed getting dressed up, going to Boston, and spending time with friends, but there was also a feeling of disconnectedness looming in the air. Its strange to have not been a part of this community for the past 5 months. For the rest of my class, Saturday night was an opportunity to blow off steam before heading into a hectic finals week.  For me, this whole week just seems surreal. Even now, I'm sitting in Starbucks, the place where I spent every Sunday night last fall doing homework, and I'm surrounded by familiar faces who have congregated here to frantically finish papers and cram for their next exam, and I just feel out of place in some ways. This area will always be a second home, but I also realize now that this chapter of my life is really closing.  

And I can honestly say that I'm ready to start the next one.

#1: Friends

I've been dreading writing this one.  Mostly because I hate thinking about the fact that many of the people that I love and that know me best are here and will be here next semester, and while I'm excited to be finishing up, I'm also going to miss this part of Gordon the most.  Especially over the past two years, I've formed friendships with a level of depth I'd never even known was possible.  I'm surrounded on a daily basis by people who know me, know my heart, are willing to accept me, no matter what that entails, but yet aren't afraid to hold me accountable, and most of all, set and example for me and encourage me to be a better person and to seek the Lord more fully.  Never before have I been so blessed to be in a community that spurs me on and challenges me like my friends here have.
I'm completely blessed to be living with five amazing girls right now.

This is Jae.

Kind, passionate, and a kindred spirit when it comes to organization and cleanliness.  We've gotten to share life together over the past year or so, and I'll miss seeing her face on a daily basis.

This is Nicole.

A brilliant thinker with an infectious laugh.  I've never met anyone who walks into a room and asks a random question like "are you talking about hair cuts?" as much as this girl does.  I've also never met anyone who watches and laughs out loud to TV alone as much as she does.  And I'm going to miss all of it.

This is Hannah.

I've learned this semester that whenever I have a problem, Hannah's the one to talk to.  She's great at providing a voice of reason and encouragement, and although we really just got to know one another this year, I'm going to miss her terribly.

This is Lacy.  

I'm not sure I can even find words to describe what this one means to me.  I had a friend crush on her during our first two years at Gordon, and was thrilled when we both got into the Elijah Project.  Little did I know what a sweet, compassionate, beautiful spirit this girl has.  

This is Emily. 

Emily is the one that puts up with living with me, and boy am I going to miss her SO much.  We lived together last year and it was great, but this year, our friendship just blossomed to a whole new level.  She is one of the most generous, kind-hearted, and joyful people that I know, and my life has been richly blessed to know her in the way that living with someone allows for.

This is Christine.

Christine doesn't live with me (anymore), but she is still one of my closest friends at Gordon (and also probably my most cuddly).  I love this girl's heart for service and also her laid-back nature.  She is a sweet, funny, honest individual and I'm going to miss having her nuzzle her way into a hug every time she sees me.

This is Cassie.

Cassie might just be my other half.  Its always so refreshing to find people who are like-minded, and if there is anyone on this campus who fits that bill for me, its Cas.  We bonded over making faces and eyes at each other during Elijah Project discussions gone awry, and I love her for many things, not the least of which is the intentionality with which she approaches her relationships.  I know that she'll be the one to keep me updated on all the goings-on up north.  

So, while these are not the only friends at Gordon that I'll miss, they are some of the ones I'll miss the most.  These women bring joy to my heart and a smile to my face.  I love each one and will be looking forward to visiting them and hearing about all the wonderful things they're doing.

Watch out for them, they're going to change the world.

Ok, now I'm really going to go cry a bucket of tears.

Also, I'm now officially done with college.

#2: Learning in a Christian Liberal Arts Environment

Say that five times fast.  

At number two on my list is something I've only just begun to truly appreciate:  being able to learn in a Christian liberal arts environment.  Gordon calls it "freedom within a framework of faith" and uses slogans like "Faith Seeking Understanding" to describe it, but basically what it comes down to is that the faculty, staff, and students on this campus share a common foundation and framework:  our faith in Christ Jesus, but we are open and able to learn and explore things that interest us in an effort to better understand and serve in the world.

I grew up going to public school, and I wouldn't trade my experiences there for anything, but coming to a Christian college was a decision that I made pretty early on and really didn't waiver from.  I wanted to see what it would be like to be in an environment like this, where everyone knew Jesus, where professors opened class in prayer.  Little did I know that that wasn't even the half of it.

What I got was a reshaping of my limited worldview and the ability to grow and learn in an environment where I didn't have to be on my guard and on the defensive about my beliefs.  Sure, this campus isn't free from sin, doubting, or questioning.  In fact, that last one is often encouraged in an effort to help us really flesh out what our faith means.  But it has given me the freedom to learn from people who share the belief that the world is fallen and broken, but that God is constantly redeeming the Creation to Himself, and that we are called to act as agents in that redemption, whether it be through design, music, medicine, ethics, sociology, or psychology.

I feel like I'm leaving Gordon a completely changed person, and I wonder how I'd be different if I was graduating from a large state university where I was just a face in the crowd.  I think that Gordon has prepared me to face the world, thinking in terms of what ought to be done and how I can play a role in making the ought the reality.

Another slogan that Gordon likes to use is "preparing the people of God for the work of God", and I truly feel that, as I graduate from this wonderful institution, I am significantly more understanding of what that slogan truly means that when I first started.

#3: Professors

The third on the list is my professors.  Over the past four years, and particularly the last two, I've had the opportunity to explore and develop relationships with a bunch of great, invested, wise people that I've also had the pleasure of calling my profs.  I also have the pleasure of attending church on a weekly basis with quite a few of them.  These people have amazing insights into God's world and our calling as Christians.  They are great at encouraging and challenging their students, and I've been humbled time and time again when a prof has taken offered me an opportunity based on what they know my interests are.
I stumbled upon this blog today.  Its a compilation of posts, videos, stories, etc. from faculty at Gordon, and is definitely worth checking out.

#4: Community

Number four on the list is the community at Gordon.  The term community has taken on a whole new meaning for me since I've been here.  At it's broadest, Gordon's community is still relatively small and tight-knit; we're all here on a foundation of faith in Jesus Christ and though many of us fill multiple roles, we're all primarily students or educators.  I've been blessed to be in community with some great people, through the Elijah Project, in my dorm my first two years, through involvement with different jobs and clubs, and now in a small little group of girls who live in Bromley 310.  Those that I've fellowshipped with, laughed with, cried with, prayed with, have all contributed to an overwhelmingly positive experience for me at this school.  I remember visiting during my senior year, and running into Gillies to get a drink before heading to the airport when the cashier wouldn't take our meal vouchers, and the student behind us instead paid for our drinks.  That was just a glimpse at how humble, helpful, and friendly the members of this community can be.
And here's another glimpse at the Gordon community as they bustle to and from classes:

Oh man, am I going to miss this place!

#5: Chapel

The fifth thing on this little list is chapel.  At a Christian liberal-arts school, a student is likely to find some sort of chapel attendance requirement.  And while said student will often grumble and complain about being required to go, or not having gone to enough, chapels, I've always secretly (and not so secretly) been in love with it.  True, there are some chapels I wish I hadn't sat through, but overall, I love that our campus takes time three days a week to come together, to worship, to learn, and to seek to understand better our faith and our world.
There is something peaceful and rejuvenating about going to chapel.  It never requires preparation, it just says "come as you are" and it never asks you to take homework and deadlines with you when you leave its doors.  I've missed it dearly during this last semester, because every Monday and Wednesday morning, I'm off campus taking a class.  And I'll certainly miss it when it is no longer an easily accessible part of my life.  However, I can look back on the learning and growth that attending chapel has fostered, and be ever so grateful that, required or not, it is a part of this community.

#6: Location

At number six on the list is Gordon's location.  I'm a big believer in the idea that everywhere is somewhere (does that make sense?).  I hate when people say things like "there's nothing here"; I beg to differ.  However, I do think that there are some places that have an edge over others, and Gordon's location definitely has an edge.  It's settled on Boston's North Shore with quick access to really great coastal towns like Gloucester and Salem.  Boston is only about 30 or 40 minutes away (and the commuter train runs only a mile or two off of campus) and we're just down the road from the beach.
I love the ocean and have never lived so close to it for such a long period before, so that is one thing that I'm going to miss dearly.  Bike rides down to the water, late night star-gazing on the beach, Sunday study sessions at a hidden cove, yeah, I'll miss that.
Boston might be one of my favorite American cities.  Completely walkable, rich with history, with tons of great restaurants and shops, Boston is amazing.
I always get a giddy feeling when coming back to school, for many reasons, obviously, but when driving north on 128 after coming back from a break, spotting familiar sites never fails to get me excited to be back at a great school, in a great area.

Excuse me while I flood my room with my tears.

#7: Admissions

In seventh place is the Gordon College Admissions Office.  I've been working as a Recruitment Intern in admissions since the beginning of my sophomore year.  Working in admissions is a ton of fun, and has offered a great opportunity to grow in a position over the course of time.  I love getting to connect with prospective students and talk about how great my experience at Gordon has been.  Admissions has been a big part of my life the past three years, and has helped me to develop professionally and personally.  Its hard to believe my time there is ending

My boss, Paul, has become a good friend, and the other counselors always bring a smile to my face.  These people are not only doing great work by recruiting excellent students to join the family, but they are a joy to work with!

Please excuse me while I become a human faucet, once again.

P.S.  If you're considering Gordon, get in touch with your counselor...there's a 100% chance he or she is awesome and ready to help you out!

#8: Union Congregational

Eighth on the list is my church, Union Congregational UCC of Magnolia, MA.  I've loved getting to be a part of this community over the past year and a half.  I've loved building relationships and hanging out with our pastor's wife during knitting club.  I loved going to the Women's Advent gathering just last week, even though I got smoked during a gift-wrapping competition.  I love that we take time each Sunday to hear and pray for the concerns of the community.  Its been a joy to once again be a part of a small congregation, and to be so welcomed into it that it truly feels like home.

Excuse me while I go finish off that box of tissues Emily just bought.

#9: Gordon Traditions

Gordon traditions comes in at number 9 on the list.  These include all-campus events like Golden Goose, Gordon Globes, Christmas at Gordon, and pancake dinners before the start of finals.  I love these events, because these are times that all of campus comes together to celebrate and enjoy life together.  Attending one of these is always sure to make me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Check out this video from Golden Goose a few years ago.  This act made quite a buzz, and even was featured on MTV.

Excuse me while I sniffle a bit.

#10: The Elijah Project

I have ten days left at Gordon.  

Ten days to be completely present in the relationships I've built over the past few years.  

Ten days of classes, papers, exams, and packing.  

Ten days of being a college student.

I've been pretty absent from the blogging world for the past few weeks.  I haven't had time to take many photos, and having to take them for a class has sort of sucked some of my creativity in that field out of me.  And I haven't had much to say; I've been doing a lot of internal (ok, and external, in the form of venting to my roommate) processing, wrestling with the fact that in a little over a week, I'll be done.  Outta here.  Skeedattled.  But I thought I'd leave a mark on my last ten days here by posting one thing (out of a list of many) that I'm going to miss about this place.

First off, the Elijah Project.  Now, this one probably shouldn't count.  In fact, that's why I placed it last:  because its a bit of a stretch, not because I'll miss it least.  I finished the EP last May when I moved out of Dexter House.  But its still an everyday part of my Gordon experience in the fact that I'm surrounded by the people, the language, the ideas that are central to the project.  The EP played a gigantic role in who I am today and the direction that my life is taking.  My classmates and our instructors, the Carmers, affirmed my strengths, supported me in the midst of big, life-altering decisions, and gave me hope and inspiration.  The readings that we did provided me with a new lens with which I now view the world.  I get so excited when I think of the amazing things that Lacy, Jae, Emily, Willie, Cassie, Rob, Christine, Erika, Ian, Tim, Ben, Dan, and Becky will be, or already are, doing with their lives.  These people are agents of change, and are poised and ready to seek God's will first and follow Him wholeheartedly.

This was the first group picture we ever took.  I remember coming home from this weekend and saying "I love these people!!!"  A year of living together later, I still feel the same way.  :)

Excuse me while I go cry my eyes out.