Girl Talk // The Grateful Life

a little while ago, i started writing these grateful heart posts every monday, (thanks to emily at ember grey!)  starting my week off by listing some things that i'm grateful for has been an awesome practice, and one that has taken a lot longer than the past few weeks to get the hang of.

when i was in college, i started being intentional about living with a grateful heart.  i began looking for things to thank god for throughout my day.  when i grabbed the last bagel in the cafeteria or when a class got cancelled and i got to take a drive to the beach, i muttered a quick little "thank you" to jesus.

living with a constant sense of gratitude is one of the hardest things i can think of.  in a world that loves to complain, loves to belittle, loves to make things less than what they are, it can be difficult to find joy in the little things; in a parking space, your favorite coffee creamer being on sale, a passing rain shower.

and that's the problem, i think.  our world so often drowns out the gratitude.  ann voskamp once wrote that "our fall was, has always been, and always will be, that we aren't satisfied in god and what he gives.  we hunger for something more, something other."

that so adequately describes our human nature, doesn't it?  from the beginning, when adam & eve took the fruit, they did so because they were led to believe that there was something more.  and we all must live with the weight of that decision, always managing the tension between what the world wants us to believe and what our god has for us.

but the thing, friends, is that the simple act of gratitude, of finding joy in the simplistic, in the everyday, in the seemingly ordinary, can do wonders in the way of managing that tension.  and it's not just being happy or thankful for what you find, but knowing who to thank.

so here are a few tips for you on your journey to living a more grateful life:

what things do you do to make sure you live a grateful life?

What He has Done is Done Forever.

today i'm leaning into the grace of jesus. 
today i'm disregarding the voices of fear & doubt & worry that try to dismantle his promises. 
today i'm resting on the belief that what he has done is done forever. 

today marks one year since the word "cancer" ran across my family's lips in reference to my dad. 
one year since 40 of our closest friends and family gathered in the gt worship center and began praying for healing before we even had an official diagnosis. 
one year since life as we knew it changed forever.

what a year it's been. 
a year of learning to trust, learning to pray, learning to believe. 
a year of fear and uncertainty and anxiety at times.
a year of altering our vocabulary to regularly include words like adenocarcinoma, and mutation, and clinical trial.
a year of regularly using words like healing.
a year of education and educating.

a year of miraculous healing.

will you pray with me today friends?  

jesus is faithful to complete what he has started and we're resting in that.  he has brought my dad, my family, through this last year and repeatedly encouraged us with people and words and blessings.  we're firmly believing that god will use this testimony for his glory.  and we also believe that a huge part of dad's healing has been due to steadfast prayer.  so prayers for completion of his healing (and for this nagging cough that has surfaced in the past few weeks to get kicked to the curb) are appreciated!  

Book Review // God is Just Not Fair

"if every need we have is met in god's grace, why are our burdens still so heavy at times?  if god's grace is really enough, why does it sometimes feel so inadequate?"

if you've ever felt the weight of a burden…an illness, an unanswered prayer, a worry or concern…then you may have asked god "why?".  in the past year, my family has done a ton of praying over the past year since my dad's cancer diagnosis.  and i'd be lying if i told you i never asked god why this was happening and declared to him that it was all just so unfair.  

life can feel really unfair sometimes.  for jennifer rothschild, unfair was losing her sight at age fifteen.  and i think that when someone goes through something like that, when they carry a burden, they have a choice to either believe in the grace and ultimate sovereignty of god, or to abandon belief in him.  

in her new book, god is just not fair, jennifer writes about what we do when things just don't make sense; about finding hope and grace and provision in those "why?" moments.  

one chapter that particularly hit home with me is the idea that god lends two kinds of grace that jennifer has named participant grace and spectator grace.  in my life, my dad is going through this battle, and god is lending him participant grace.  i'm the spectator, praying, trusting, and believing for his healing, and god lends me spectator grace to bear the burden as the spectator.  i, for one, am so thankful that god cares for all of his children…those going through the fire and those walking alongside the fire, spectating.

god is just not fair holds the truth that every "why" might not be answered, and sometimes, things just don't seem fair.  because sometimes, life tears a big hole in your blanket of faith.  but hope can be found in christ jesus.  and if anyone knows that, it's jennifer rothschild.  

i have felt so encouraged and cared for while reading this book.  jennifer writes from her heart, sharing personal anecdotes and encouraging those carrying a burden.  no matter where you are in life, chances are you've experience a time where you can related to life not feeling fair.  and whether you're in that place now, or god is leading you out of that place, there is truth to be found in god is just not fair.  

jennifer's writing has left me wanting for more.  preferably in the form of a good, long sit-down chat over a great cup of coffee where i can just listen to her share her wisdom.  

if you're looking for hope, wondering where god is in the midst of struggle, or walking alongside someone in the fight of their life, this book is for you.

want to know more about god is just not fair?

check out why jennifer wrote the book here and if you need more convincing, here are a few more reasons to by the book!

god is just not fair is available on amazon, barnes & noble, and christian book distributors. 

disclosure // while i did receive a free advance copy of god is just not fair, the views expressed in this review are completely my own.

Girl Talk // Kneel & Let Go

there have been times in my life where God has taken the thing i have my fingers grasped tightly to and whispered..."let go".  he never forces, it's a quiet and gentle command.  and it always takes me by surprise.  in my relatively short twenty-four years, i've boldly declared, time and again, what i thought i wanted, only to watch god change the course of that plan.

i've been reading a few books lately, one of which is ann voskamp's one thousand gifts.  this book led me to her blog, and somewhere along the way, i found this quote:

"god's not asking me to climb ladders - he's asking me to kneel and let go." -ann voskamp

i wrote it down immediately, thinking about how profound the concept is.  kneel and let go.  if only it were as easy as it sounds!

i've written before about my struggle to figure out what exactly i wanted to do with my life in college, and how those future plans again hit a speed bump this summer.  and more than anything else, more than any relationship or other desire, the greatest struggle for me has been to kneel and let go of what i want my future to hold, or what i think my five-year plan should be, or what i think my life should look like.  

and over the past ten months, i've been learning this lesson in a new way as well.  last may, my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer.  (fortunately, he's doing really well, but prayers are appreciated!)  but over the past ten months, my family has been learning what it means to kneel and let go when you're in the most dire and desperate of times.  we've been blessed by an awesome medical team at one of the country's best hospitals who have been taking great care of my dad, but ultimately, we know that all of his progress, and the journey that got us there, can be attributed to jesus.  

i think in both of these situations, with my future and with my dad's diagnosis, learning to kneel and let go has been instrumental to finding the peace that passes all understanding that the bible talks about.  and ann says it so well:  "god's not asking me to climb ladders…"  it's true!  he's asking you to take it one step at a time.  

he understands that this lesson is not an easy one to learn, that this control is not easy to give up.  just think…it must have been excruciatingly difficult to watch his own son die the most horrible death knowing that he could end it with a blink, but he let go, so that we could ultimately benefit.  he knows first-hand what letting go means.  that's one of my favorite things about god.  he's big and mighty and more glorious than we can even imagine, but he knows and has felt our deepest pain.  that's just mind-blowing to me.  

so the take-away….just four little words, (write 'em down!), kneel and let go.  kneel and let go.  kneel and let go.  when you're at your worst, when you're more desperate than you've ever been, get on your knees, hand it over to god, and let go.  try it, trust me.

what is god trying to tell you to kneel and let go of?  when have you see god's faithfulness through answered prayer?

Overcome the Lie // Do You Really Deserve God's Best?

i dated this guy when i was in tenth grade, and early in the relationship, i distinctly remember thinking to myself that someday i would hold the title "ex-girlfriend".  the red flags were there…he wasn't a christian and the way we even started dating was too fast and kind of ridiculous.  but i was caught up in the excitement of having my first boyfriend and i was just living in the moment, knowing it wasn't going to last forever.  so when he cheated on me, it actually surprised me how much it hurt.

i didn't realize the insecurity that that hurt buried in me until years later, when i spent a summer investing in what i imagined would someday be a real relationship with someone i could potentially see a future with.  our would-be relationship crumbled under miscommunication and mixed feelings about where we were headed and i sank into a season of hurt, anger, and confusion about how a god who assured me to wait and hold out for "his best" could let me go through this.

can i let you in on a little secret?  insecurity reared it's ugly head and the enemy whispered his lies, and over time, i started to believe them.

lies that god didn't actually have a plan.
lies that he didn't really want to fulfill the desires of my heart.
lies that i didn't really deserve to be loved in the way that i wanted.

it took a while until i stopped listening to those lies.  even after i was in a relationship with a guy who is better to me than i could have ever imagined, i still questioned whether i deserved it.  i can't even tell you what i did to block them out.  i guess it was just a conscious effort to believe in the promises that god has made…and his plans to give me hope and a future, just like it says in Jeremiah.  

those lies still creep in once in a while, and it's not always easy to push them away.  sometimes, it's a daily, intentional task to remember that i am loved, and i do deserve it, and god does want what's best for me.  love can be tough…no matter where you're at.  it's tough if you're going through a breakup, it's tough if you're single, it can be tough if you're in a relationship.

friday is valentine's day, and while it's fun to watch romantic movies and eat those little candy hearts  and maybe even hand out valentines, i know there are girls out there who are feeling lonely rather than loved this week.  maybe that's you.  maybe you're succumbing to the lie that you don't deserve love.

but guess what, friend?  you're already loved.  you're loved by a savior who gave his life for you.  in the most intense and unimaginable way.  and he continues to love you day in and day out, a love so sustaining and fulfilling that a deeper one has never existed.  so take heart, and bury yourself every day in the arms of a heavenly father who loves you so much that he overcame the grave for you.

 this post was written in partnership with overcome the lie.  overcome the lie is a social media movement that exists to empower a generation of women to overcome the lie because jesus overcame the grave.  they encourage women and give them the resources and opportunity to walk free from the lies, using the authority that jesus hands them.

website // twitter // instagram // facebook // pinterest

Girl Talk // The Habit of Giving

last week, i sat in a meeting with some of our pastors at church and we planned out some of our financial updates for the year.  the subject of tithing came up and we started talking about how different generations view giving to the church.

our lead pastor put it like this:  tithing is like paying your bill at a restaurant…you wouldn't dine and dash, so you shouldn't go to church and not tithe.  and if tithing is your bill, then extra giving (to a special project or fund) is like leaving a tip…it's above and beyond your bill.

easy to say, sometimes harder to follow through on, right?

i remember when I first started tithing, shoving a crumpled one-dollar bill into the offering envelope at 10% of my $10 weekly allowance.  it seemed silly at the time, giving an offering of $1 each sunday, but it mattered.  for me, that small offering created a sense that tithing was a priority.

now, in my twenties, with college loan debt, bills to pay, gas to buy, hopes of travel and saving for a future, and of course, getting slightly larger paychecks than that $10 allowance, tithing is a lithe more complex.  that 10% isn't just a dollar anymore, and i'm gonna be honest…sometimes its tough to see that chunk leave my paycheck as soon as it comes in.

malachi 3:10 says "bring the whole tithe into the storehouse... test me in this... and see if i will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it."

sometimes giving at this stage of life is more about faith in what god has promised and relying on his providence than it is about having the extra income lying around.  it's about living in those promises and trusting god to "throw open the floodgates of heaven".

i know people who have had experiences where they've needed a certain amount of money and that exact amount happened to show up in their mailbox just when they needed it.  some might call those sorts of things coincidences but i firmly believe they're god's provision.  and it's stories like those that bring scripture to life for me.

i find that making giving a habit makes it easier to give in times of plenty and in times of want.  god promises to take care of us.  he asks that we be faithful to him, and that includes being faithful in our giving.  and for a god who promises "so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it", who am i to argue?

Girl Talk // The Dreams You Don't Talk About [Repost]

i started my girl talk feature this summer, and originally posted this particular post at the end of july, and as i was going back through my blog archives today, i found it and remembered that it's one of my favorite girl talks!  it's also interesting to see where god has brought both aj & i in the past six months. i'm constantly amazed by how he knits together our lives so perfectly!



if you've ever had a dream in your life, you know...dreaming can be a scary thing.

dreams give you a glimpse of what your life could be and ask you to follow them without more than a bold hope and the promise of what could be.

one of the dreams i've had all my life has been to have a marriage like my parents' (they've been married almost 28 years and are the best of friends) and to be able to parent children who grow up knowing that they're loved not only by their family, but even more so by christ.

but it wasn't until i was in college, and about halfway through, that i felt comfortable talking about that dream with others.

you see, there's a vulnerability to realizing our dreams aloud.  for me, it was the worry of what others might think, that by wanting first and foremost to be a wife and mother, would mean relinquishing my intellect and potential to have a promising career in whatever field i chose.  that i was somehow shedding what so many women have fought so long and hard for in exchange for an apron and minivan.

it's that vulnerability that causes us to hole up our dreams, keeping them hidden for fear of what others might think or say.  no one wants their dreams crushed into a million tiny pieces, and so it's so much easier to hide them away than to risk the voices of insecurity and reality stomp all over them.

aj and i do a lot of talking about our future.  if i'm being completely transparent with you, i don't know what my dreams are right now.  sure, that dream for a family is still very present, but beyond that?  i don't know.  i have a degree in education, and i'd love to teach in an elementary classroom.  but i also have a passion for global nonprofit work, a creative energy for photography and design, a love of interior decorating, and a penchant for hosting and planning events.

so if you figure out how to wrap all of that up into one career, let me know.

aj, on the other hand, has a very specific dream.  he wants to one day work in a studio as a producer or recording engineer.  and in about a month, he's heading to boston to continue his education at berklee college of music as a step toward achieving that dream.

both of those situations are scary.  mine, because i just don't know what the next step is.  his, because it requires risk and that bold hope.

at the bottom of it all, though, god desires the best for us.  he gives us dreams and puts people in our path who can encourage us and help us achieve them.  and if you're seeking jesus in everything you do, then the dreams that are of him will align with his plan for your life.

no matter how scary your dream is, i guess the question you have to ask yourself is this:  is it worth the risk?  because there's risk in every part of dreaming: from the time that you realize that you even have a dream to the day that you tell others about it to the moment you begin to work toward making it happen.

if the answer to that question is "yes", then start.  start talking to others (because there's accountability in that!), start figuring out what you need to do to make it happen, start praying hard.

too often we rob ourselves of the joy of dreaming because of the fear of failure and judgment.  don't you think it's time to start chasing your dreams?

Girl Talk // The Struggle of Advent

I had stayed late at church to work on decorating our stage for Christmas Eve.  In our Worship Center, away from windows and focused on the task at hand, I didn't see the snow and ice beginning to lay on the roads and grass until I walked out at 3:30pm.

My thoughts immediately went to my impending drive home, my mom worried about me, a car that doesn't have a great track record in the snow, and a climb up an icy mountain.  The drive that normally takes under twenty minutes ended up taking forty, with speeds topping out at twenty-five miles per hour, three tries before finally making it up the hill, and white-knuckled fingers gripping the wheel.

I wasn't necessarily nervous, (except for the moment where I slid through an intersection under a yellow light that was on the brink of becoming red), but I was certainly more alert and attentive to my driving, and the struggle, that it was to get home on Sunday.

Reflecting on that drive, and the coming holidays, I can't help but wonder….isn't that the way advent is?  We're all a little more attentive to the One we celebrate, and for many, advent is a struggle towards coming home.

There are some people, and maybe you're one of them, who feel the sharpness of pain or hurt or trouble as the season looms.

Even in that first Christmas, at the start of the story, there is struggle.

Mary didn't accept the news that she would bear the Son of God without first feeling troubled.  Joseph struggled with the knowledge that his fiancé was pregnant, and not by him, before the angel appeared to him.  Zechariah struggled to understand how his aged wife could be with child.

Trouble.  Struggle.  Confusion.  They were there in the beginning, and they often rear their ugly heads to us now.

But the beautiful thing about advent is that the story, while riddled with struggle, doesn't end with it.  It ends with the birth of a Savior, and with Christ's birth, a promise of redemption for humankind.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible comes from the book of Matthew, and simply states "the people living in living in darkness have seen a great light" (Matthew 4:16).  I love the imagery of that verse…I always imagine a sun rising on the horizon, it's light slowly brightening and spreading inch by inch over the dark earth below.

And that's what Christmas does…it brings hope, it brings light.  It might seem like you're living in the land of darkness, but hold out for the light.  It's coming, the sun is rising.  Turn your face to the horizon.   And come home.

Whether you're facing this holiday without someone dear to you, coming home to a fractured relationship, or maybe just not feeling like yourself this holiday season, I encourage you to take heart.  The Christmas season may not always be a joyful one.  Heaven knows even the mother of Christ had her moments of struggle.

So dig deep into this advent season and discover joy through coming home to a Heavenly Father greater than anything this world could throw at you.

GIRL TALK | THE STRUGGLE OF ADVENT

I had stayed late at church to work on decorating our stage for Christmas Eve.  In our Worship Center, away from windows and focused on the task at hand, I didn't see the snow and ice beginning to lay on the roads and grass until I walked out at 3:30pm.

My thoughts immediately went to my impending drive home, my mom worried about me, a car that doesn't have a great track record in the snow, and a climb up an icy mountain.  The drive that normally takes under twenty minutes ended up taking forty, with speeds topping out at twenty-five miles per hour, three tries before finally making it up the hill, and white-knuckled fingers gripping the wheel.

I wasn't necessarily nervous, (except for the moment where I slid through an intersection under a yellow light that was on the brink of becoming red), but I was certainly more alert and attentive to my driving, and the struggle, that it was to get home on Sunday.

Reflecting on that drive, and the coming holidays, I can't help but wonder….isn't that the way advent is?  We're all a little more attentive to the One we celebrate, and for many, advent is a struggle towards coming home.

There are some people, and maybe you're one of them, who feel the sharpness of pain or hurt or trouble as the season looms.

Even in that first Christmas, at the start of the story, there is struggle.

Mary didn't accept the news that she would bear the Son of God without first feeling troubled.  Joseph struggled with the knowledge that his fiancé was pregnant, and not by him, before the angel appeared to him.  Zechariah struggled to understand how his aged wife could be with child.

Trouble.  Struggle.  Confusion.  They were there in the beginning, and they often rear their ugly heads to us now.

But the beautiful thing about advent is that the story, while riddled with struggle, doesn't end with it.  It ends with the birth of a Savior, and with Christ's birth, a promise of redemption for humankind.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible comes from the book of Matthew, and simply states "the people living in living in darkness have seen a great light" (Matthew 4:16).  I love the imagery of that verse…I always imagine a sun rising on the horizon, it's light slowly brightening and spreading inch by inch over the dark earth below.

And that's what Christmas does…it brings hope, it brings light.  It might seem like you're living in the land of darkness, but hold out for the light.  It's coming, the sun is rising.  Turn your face to the horizon.   And come home.

Whether you're facing this holiday without someone dear to you, coming home to a fractured relationship, or maybe just not feeling like yourself this holiday season, I encourage you to take heart.  The Christmas season may not always be a joyful one.  Heaven knows even the mother of Christ had her moments of struggle.

So dig deep into this advent season and discover joy through coming home to a Heavenly Father greater than anything this world could throw at you.

Girl Talk // Tag, You're It!

One of my favorite things is giving someone a gift that I've put effort and time into.  I love Christmas morning for that reason.  I love even more when I can surprise someone with an unexpected gift.

When my dad was diagnosed with cancer back in May, we radically changed our diets.  My parents became avid juicers and smoothie drinkers, going for a very all-natural, vegan, mostly raw diet.  My mom would make smoothies for my dad in her little blender that she got as a wedding gift nearly twenty-eight years ago.  She mentioned wanting to save up some money and invest in a Vitamix blender, but kept saying things like "my little blender is fine!"

Knowing that she was trying to be a good steward of finances in a time of uncertainty, I decided to ask a few friends and family if they'd be willing to pitch in to surprise my parents with that Vitamix.  A few text messages later, I had more money than I even needed, and we were able to bless my mom and dad with something they now use on a daily basis.  Seeing the looks on their faces when I pulled that box out of the trunk was one of the best moments of my summer.

We're starting a new series at GT called "Others First in a Me-First World".  It's all about serving and all about putting others first.  As I've been interning with the Creative Planning team, I've been steeped in thoughts about service to others, how to encourage our church body to serve, and how I, personally, can serve others better.

Jesus provided us with the greatest example of service.  In John 13, he gets down on his knees, towel wrapped around his waste, basin in hand, and washes the feet of his dirty, travel-worn disciples.

My friend Courtney wrote this in her new book:

Do you know what I hear Jesus saying to the disciples in this scene's last words?  "Tag. You're it."  They sit down to dinner, Jesus performs an outlandish act of love, and then he says, "Tag. It's your turn now." Jesus knew that He was not going to be around much longer with skin on, so He made sure that they understood His vision and then said, "...you also should..."  Serving is the legacy that Jesus chooses to leave with His disciples.

When I was young, I hated playing tag.  I always felt foolish chasing aimlessly after others, trying with all my might to catch them just enough to tag them and pass the baton of being "it" onto someone else.

And in today's "me-first" world, it can often feel as if trying to appreciate and serve others is just like that game of tag.  We need to hurry up and get it over with and then we can sit back and relax; the pressure is off, we've paid our dues.

But what if we flipped that thinking upside down?  What if we found complete joy in serving others?  What if we were constantly looking for ways to serve another, to anticipate a need, to appreciate someone who needs to know they're loved?

Serving isn't always a fruitful task.  It can be dirty, thankless, and even downright unpleasant.  Those we serve may never even know us to be the servant.  There is a woman at our church who cleans our nursery on a weekly basis.  For years, she's come in during the week and wiped down everything, sanitizing toys and changing tables, cribs and rocking chairs, prepping it for the next round of babies who will be cuddled and cared for while their parents attend service.  No one ever sees her do this, there's never a fanfare of applause for this great act of love, but she's done it faithfully for years.

Sometimes, serving silently brings more joy than if we were to do it in front of thousands.  Living a life of service means a shift in worldview.  It means taking putting down the mirror and picking up binoculars; it means looking away from your own needs and focusing in on the needs of others.

My challenge to you is this:
Look for the people in your life who serve you.  Appreciate them.  And then live as if they've said "tag, you're it!", for Jesus already said it two thousand years ago, and if we ignore that commission, then we're missing the heart of the gospel.

Tag, you're it.

GIRL TALK | TAG, YOU'RE IT!

One of my favorite things is giving someone a gift that I've put effort and time into.  I love Christmas morning for that reason.  I love even more when I can surprise someone with an unexpected gift.

When my dad was diagnosed with cancer back in May, we radically changed our diets.  My parents became avid juicers and smoothie drinkers, going for a very all-natural, vegan, mostly raw diet.  My mom would make smoothies for my dad in her little blender that she got as a wedding gift nearly twenty-eight years ago.  She mentioned wanting to save up some money and invest in a Vitamix blender, but kept saying things like "my little blender is fine!"

Knowing that she was trying to be a good steward of finances in a time of uncertainty, I decided to ask a few friends and family if they'd be willing to pitch in to surprise my parents with that Vitamix.  A few text messages later, I had more money than I even needed, and we were able to bless my mom and dad with something they now use on a daily basis.  Seeing the looks on their faces when I pulled that box out of the trunk was one of the best moments of my summer.

We're starting a new series at GT called "Others First in a Me-First World".  It's all about serving and all about putting others first.  As I've been interning with the Creative Planning team, I've been steeped in thoughts about service to others, how to encourage our church body to serve, and how I, personally, can serve others better.

Jesus provided us with the greatest example of service.  In John 13, he gets down on his knees, towel wrapped around his waste, basin in hand, and washes the feet of his dirty, travel-worn disciples.

My friend Courtney wrote this in her new book:

Do you know what I hear Jesus saying to the disciples in this scene's last words?  "Tag. You're it."  They sit down to dinner, Jesus performs an outlandish act of love, and then he says, "Tag. It's your turn now." Jesus knew that He was not going to be around much longer with skin on, so He made sure that they understood His vision and then said, "...you also should..."  Serving is the legacy that Jesus chooses to leave with His disciples.

When I was young, I hated playing tag.  I always felt foolish chasing aimlessly after others, trying with all my might to catch them just enough to tag them and pass the baton of being "it" onto someone else.

And in today's "me-first" world, it can often feel as if trying to appreciate and serve others is just like that game of tag.  We need to hurry up and get it over with and then we can sit back and relax; the pressure is off, we've paid our dues.

But what if we flipped that thinking upside down?  What if we found complete joy in serving others?  What if we were constantly looking for ways to serve another, to anticipate a need, to appreciate someone who needs to know they're loved?

Serving isn't always a fruitful task.  It can be dirty, thankless, and even downright unpleasant.  Those we serve may never even know us to be the servant.  There is a woman at our church who cleans our nursery on a weekly basis.  For years, she's come in during the week and wiped down everything, sanitizing toys and changing tables, cribs and rocking chairs, prepping it for the next round of babies who will be cuddled and cared for while their parents attend service.  No one ever sees her do this, there's never a fanfare of applause for this great act of love, but she's done it faithfully for years.

Sometimes, serving silently brings more joy than if we were to do it in front of thousands.  Living a life of service means a shift in worldview.  It means taking putting down the mirror and picking up binoculars; it means looking away from your own needs and focusing in on the needs of others.

My challenge to you is this:
Look for the people in your life who serve you.  Appreciate them.  And then live as if they've said "tag, you're it!", for Jesus already said it two thousand years ago, and if we ignore that commission, then we're missing the heart of the gospel.

Tag, you're it.

Girl Talk // Be Authentic

My friend Lacy is probably one of the most real, authentic, genuine people I know.  We went to college together and I had a friend crush from her from afar for a few semesters.  She was the bubbly redhead with the amazing voice who I always thought I'd like to get to know better.  It wasn't until we were both accepted into The Elijah Project, a faith and vocation crash course of sorts, that we really got to know one another.  After that, we lived together for our junior year and my senior semester, and even had nearly identical schedules that last semester of school.

The thing that I love about Lacy, though, isn't just her smile or sense of humor, it's the way she welcomes you into conversation and without ever having to say it, invites you to bear your soul if you so choose.  She has that unique ability to make you feel like you're the most important person in her world when she's talking to you.

I had the pleasure of visiting Lacy in her little apartment that she shares with her husband Austin, in the bottom floor of an underclassman dorm where she mentors 80-some underclassmen on our alma mater's campus.  And in the brief hour or so that we spent together, it was like no time at all had passed.

Lacy's example of authenticity, of being intentional and taking the time to really listen to others, of finding genuine ways to show the love to Christ to not only her nearest and dearest, but everyone she comes across, and of being able to truly and deeply engage in both conversations and relationships is one that I've always held in high regard.  

I'm sure she'd blush at this post (and Lace, if you're reading, know that every word is so true!!), but I desire to be a little more like Lacy.  A little more thoughtful, a little more intentional, and a whole lot more authentic. 

This morning, a friend at church commented on how I was walking through our crowded atrium wearing a serene smile.  I laughed it off, saying it was my "it's Sunday morning and I'm on staff at a church and must look constantly friendly" smile.  And immediately, I hated what I had said.  The last thing I want to be is someone who wears a smile and even jokes about it being an obligation!

We live in a society that makes authenticity really hard.  Everything is so instant, so right now, that it can take some serious effort to stop and really see people.  I'm not necessarily talking about just the realm of social media, though I've blogged about that in the past, but of a deeper connection with others.  I honestly am not sure when I last had a conversation with someone and didn't look at my phone at least once!  

I desire to dig deep and create authentic and real relationships with people.  And if we have that desire as humans, how much more do you think God desires that with us?  God created us to be in relationship with Him, but so often our quiet times, our prayers, our worship, even, is rushed.  We're constantly distracted by other things and other thoughts, and if it takes effort to focus when we're in conversation with real, physical people sitting in front of us, how much more effort does it take to focus on a very present, if slightly less observable, God?

Authenticity is hard.  There's just no two ways about it.  Really investing in other people can be exhausting and emotional at times.  But those relationships that you truly dig deep into, those friends, are the best ones to have.  

So, because I like lists, and like to be practical, here are a few things I think are baby steps on the road to authenticity....

1.  Learn to be grateful.  And joyful.  If you've ever met someone who is truly an authentic person, you've probably also realized that they also wear gratitude like it's their favorite accessory.

2.  Slow down.  Take time to have a conversation, even if it means being a few minutes late.  Write a letter and send it through the mail because people feel special when they get a hand-written letter.

3.  Clear the distractions.  In your quiet time, throw on some worship music and find a spot free of distraction. If you're having coffee with a friend, be intentional about turning off your phone or leaving it in your car.  Get rid of the things that tempt you to disengage.

Do you have more to add to this list?  Let's chat!

GIRL TALK | BE AUTHENTIC

My friend Lacy is probably one of the most real, authentic, genuine people I know.  We went to college together and I had a friend crush from her from afar for a few semesters.  She was the bubbly redhead with the amazing voice who I always thought I'd like to get to know better.  It wasn't until we were both accepted into The Elijah Project, a faith and vocation crash course of sorts, that we really got to know one another.  After that, we lived together for our junior year and my senior semester, and even had nearly identical schedules that last semester of school.

The thing that I love about Lacy, though, isn't just her smile or sense of humor, it's the way she welcomes you into conversation and without ever having to say it, invites you to bear your soul if you so choose.  She has that unique ability to make you feel like you're the most important person in her world when she's talking to you.

I had the pleasure of visiting Lacy in her little apartment that she shares with her husband Austin, in the bottom floor of an underclassman dorm where she mentors 80-some underclassmen on our alma mater's campus.  And in the brief hour or so that we spent together, it was like no time at all had passed.

Lacy's example of authenticity, of being intentional and taking the time to really listen to others, of finding genuine ways to show the love to Christ to not only her nearest and dearest, but everyone she comes across, and of being able to truly and deeply engage in both conversations and relationships is one that I've always held in high regard.  

I'm sure she'd blush at this post (and Lace, if you're reading, know that every word is so true!!), but I desire to be a little more like Lacy.  A little more thoughtful, a little more intentional, and a whole lot more authentic. 

This morning, a friend at church commented on how I was walking through our crowded atrium wearing a serene smile.  I laughed it off, saying it was my "it's Sunday morning and I'm on staff at a church and must look constantly friendly" smile.  And immediately, I hated what I had said.  The last thing I want to be is someone who wears a smile and even jokes about it being an obligation!

We live in a society that makes authenticity really hard.  Everything is so instant, so right now, that it can take some serious effort to stop and really see people.  I'm not necessarily talking about just the realm of social media, though I've blogged about that in the past, but of a deeper connection with others.  I honestly am not sure when I last had a conversation with someone and didn't look at my phone at least once!  

I desire to dig deep and create authentic and real relationships with people.  And if we have that desire as humans, how much more do you think God desires that with us?  God created us to be in relationship with Him, but so often our quiet times, our prayers, our worship, even, is rushed.  We're constantly distracted by other things and other thoughts, and if it takes effort to focus when we're in conversation with real, physical people sitting in front of us, how much more effort does it take to focus on a very present, if slightly less observable, God?

Authenticity is hard.  There's just no two ways about it.  Really investing in other people can be exhausting and emotional at times.  But those relationships that you truly dig deep into, those friends, are the best ones to have.  

So, because I like lists, and like to be practical, here are a few things I think are baby steps on the road to authenticity....

1.  Learn to be grateful.  And joyful.  If you've ever met someone who is truly an authentic person, you've probably also realized that they also wear gratitude like it's their favorite accessory.

2.  Slow down.  Take time to have a conversation, even if it means being a few minutes late.  Write a letter and send it through the mail because people feel special when they get a hand-written letter.

3.  Clear the distractions.  In your quiet time, throw on some worship music and find a spot free of distraction. If you're having coffee with a friend, be intentional about turning off your phone or leaving it in your car.  Get rid of the things that tempt you to disengage.

Do you have more to add to this list?  Let's chat!

Girl Talk // The Most Powerful Weapon

Last Wednesday, I hopped on a plane and flew up to Boston to visit AJ for the week.  It was 9/11, and after watching documentaries about that fateful day during the earlier part of the week with my parents, I'll admit I was a bit nervous to fly.  I've flown the Philly-Boston corridor more times than I can count and really, I've never been afraid to step on a plane.  But something about last Wednesday, the weight of the significance of that date, the realization that no one else who stepped on their respective planes that day twelve years ago knew their fate, it just made me a little nervous.

I took my seat on board and got out my iPad and headphones and book in preparation, and then I took a moment to do what I always do when I get on a plane...I prayed.  Except, this time, my prayer was different.  It was more powerful and more passionate.

I've been learning a lot about prayer over the past few months.  When my dad first received his diagnosis back in May, we immediately gathered family and friends at our church for a time of prayer over him.  Then, we started making weekly appointments with our church's Healing Ministry, and every Wednesday night, we gathered with a team who encouraged us with scripture when we felt despair and celebrated our joys when we received news.

Growing up in the church, I always thought I knew how to pray.  I carefully listened to my pastors and youth leaders pray over the years, and picked up phrases and formulas for what I thought "good" prayers sounded like.  Eventually, my prayers became my own and became more authentic.  But it wasn't until this summer that I realized that God wants us to claim things in prayer.

Claiming my dad's healing and banishing the enemies of death and disease takes courage and faith beyond measure.  It requires prayers that you can stand behind 100%, believing completely that what you're praying will become reality.  God requires bold prayers of us, and it's a pretty awesome thing to pray boldly, and to have the freedom to come before your savior humbly praising His name while boldly asking for Him to move in big ways.  And what's even greater is when you can look at your life and praise Him for answering those prayers.

My challenge for you this week is this:  pray, and pray boldly.  No matter what you're dealing with, what you desire, find Scripture verses that you can pray over, for there's nothing more powerful than praying and claiming God's promises in Scripture.  Learning to pray with a boldness takes time, practice, and courage...find some people who can pray with you and can teach you what praying boldly means.  And gather with other believers, because there's no greater thing than sharing your sorrow and joys with others who can encourage you along this walk.

GIRL TALK | THE MOST POWERFUL WEAPON

Last Wednesday, I hopped on a plane and flew up to Boston to visit AJ for the week.  It was 9/11, and after watching documentaries about that fateful day during the earlier part of the week with my parents, I'll admit I was a bit nervous to fly.  I've flown the Philly-Boston corridor more times than I can count and really, I've never been afraid to step on a plane.  But something about last Wednesday, the weight of the significance of that date, the realization that no one else who stepped on their respective planes that day twelve years ago knew their fate, it just made me a little nervous.

I took my seat on board and got out my iPad and headphones and book in preparation, and then I took a moment to do what I always do when I get on a plane...I prayed.  Except, this time, my prayer was different.  It was more powerful and more passionate.

I've been learning a lot about prayer over the past few months.  When my dad first received his diagnosis back in May, we immediately gathered family and friends at our church for a time of prayer over him.  Then, we started making weekly appointments with our church's Healing Ministry, and every Wednesday night, we gathered with a team who encouraged us with scripture when we felt despair and celebrated our joys when we received news.

Growing up in the church, I always thought I knew how to pray.  I carefully listened to my pastors and youth leaders pray over the years, and picked up phrases and formulas for what I thought "good" prayers sounded like.  Eventually, my prayers became my own and became more authentic.  But it wasn't until this summer that I realized that God wants us to claim things in prayer.

Claiming my dad's healing and banishing the enemies of death and disease takes courage and faith beyond measure.  It requires prayers that you can stand behind 100%, believing completely that what you're praying will become reality.  God requires bold prayers of us, and it's a pretty awesome thing to pray boldly, and to have the freedom to come before your savior humbly praising His name while boldly asking for Him to move in big ways.  And what's even greater is when you can look at your life and praise Him for answering those prayers.

My challenge for you this week is this:  pray, and pray boldly.  No matter what you're dealing with, what you desire, find Scripture verses that you can pray over, for there's nothing more powerful than praying and claiming God's promises in Scripture.  Learning to pray with a boldness takes time, practice, and courage...find some people who can pray with you and can teach you what praying boldly means.  And gather with other believers, because there's no greater thing than sharing your sorrow and joys with others who can encourage you along this walk.

Girl Talk // Let's Talk Pretty

If you ask just about any woman what she doesn't like about her body, she'll likely be able to give you a laundry list.  For the sake of honesty, I'll tell you that my list would include the fact that my midsection and thighs are a little bit more wobbly than I'd like.  If you ask that same woman what she does like, she'd most likely shy away from giving you an answer without some coaxing.

For some reason, women today have a hard time wrapping their heads around the fact that they're beautiful. The media spends a whole lot of time giving us examples of "beauty"...mostly rail-thin, airbrushed models and celebrities...and we buy into every line.  It's hard not to.  Between advertisements and tv shows, blogs and magazines, we can't escape it at any turn.

As a middle schooler, there were tons upon tons of days that I definitely didn't feel attractive.  Acne, triangle hair (the result of a perm on shoulder-length hair with no layers and highlights that were far too blonde), glasses, a khaki and navy school uniform, and always a bit on the pudgy-side, I wasn't exactly the cute, tiny, bubbly kid you'd see on the Disney channel.  And frankly, a decade later, there are plenty of days when I feel like I haven't come too far from middle-school me.

I've gone through makeup phases in life.  I did the whole eyeliner thing in middle school, and then kinda just stopped wearing makeup all together until I discovered that mascara wasn't so difficult after all when I was in my senior year.  My freshman year of college, I bought myself a BareMinerals starter kit (my first real makeup experience), but like many college kids, often was just too tired or lazy to wear it.  I went through a "I don't need makeup to look good!" phase, and finally, sometime in the past few years, settled into a routine that gives me a natural finish (you can read more about that here).

The point is, I've wrestled with feeling like I'm not being true to myself by wearing makeup and wanting to be "pretty".  And I think it's a fairly normal struggle for a Christian gal to have.  We're told so many things from so many different sources.  "You don't need makeup to look pretty!"  "A little blush doesn't hurt, it looks healthy!"  And while some girls are just born with "it", I've come to realize that for many, it's Maybelline (punny, right??).

We put our worth in what society tells us is "pretty" and if we don't measure up, then we decide that we can't assume that label.

If I could say one thing to every teenage girl, twenty-something, or even any woman at any age about beauty, it would be that you. are. beautiful.  No matter what your makeup routine looks like.  And what makes a woman even more beautiful than her outward appearance is when she finds her worth in Christ. 1 Peter 3:3-4 talks about making sure your adornment isn't solely external, but that of the "imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God."

Here's my opinion:  It's ok to wear makeup.  And it's ok not to.  I believe that we're not supposed to draw inappropriate attention to ourselves through our makeup and our dress, but I don't think it's wrong to care about a makeup routine or about fashion.

Frankly, it doesn't really matter if you wear it or you don't.  What matters is realizing your true worth lies in becoming a woman with a Godly heart and gentle spirit.  That, in itself, with speak far louder than your eyeshadow and lipstick.

GIRL TALK | LET'S TALK PRETTY

If you ask just about any woman what she doesn't like about her body, she'll likely be able to give you a laundry list.  For the sake of honesty, I'll tell you that my list would include the fact that my midsection and thighs are a little bit more wobbly than I'd like.  If you ask that same woman what she does like, she'd most likely shy away from giving you an answer without some coaxing.

For some reason, women today have a hard time wrapping their heads around the fact that they're beautiful. The media spends a whole lot of time giving us examples of "beauty"...mostly rail-thin, airbrushed models and celebrities...and we buy into every line.  It's hard not to.  Between advertisements and tv shows, blogs and magazines, we can't escape it at any turn.

As a middle schooler, there were tons upon tons of days that I definitely didn't feel attractive.  Acne, triangle hair (the result of a perm on shoulder-length hair with no layers and highlights that were far too blonde), glasses, a khaki and navy school uniform, and always a bit on the pudgy-side, I wasn't exactly the cute, tiny, bubbly kid you'd see on the Disney channel.  And frankly, a decade later, there are plenty of days when I feel like I haven't come too far from middle-school me.

I've gone through makeup phases in life.  I did the whole eyeliner thing in middle school, and then kinda just stopped wearing makeup all together until I discovered that mascara wasn't so difficult after all when I was in my senior year.  My freshman year of college, I bought myself a BareMinerals starter kit (my first real makeup experience), but like many college kids, often was just too tired or lazy to wear it.  I went through a "I don't need makeup to look good!" phase, and finally, sometime in the past few years, settled into a routine that gives me a natural finish (you can read more about that here).

The point is, I've wrestled with feeling like I'm not being true to myself by wearing makeup and wanting to be "pretty".  And I think it's a fairly normal struggle for a Christian gal to have.  We're told so many things from so many different sources.  "You don't need makeup to look pretty!"  "A little blush doesn't hurt, it looks healthy!"  And while some girls are just born with "it", I've come to realize that for many, it's Maybelline (punny, right??).

We put our worth in what society tells us is "pretty" and if we don't measure up, then we decide that we can't assume that label.

If I could say one thing to every teenage girl, twenty-something, or even any woman at any age about beauty, it would be that you. are. beautiful.  No matter what your makeup routine looks like.  And what makes a woman even more beautiful than her outward appearance is when she finds her worth in Christ. 1 Peter 3:3-4 talks about making sure your adornment isn't solely external, but that of the "imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in the sight of God."

Here's my opinion:  It's ok to wear makeup.  And it's ok not to.  I believe that we're not supposed to draw inappropriate attention to ourselves through our makeup and our dress, but I don't think it's wrong to care about a makeup routine or about fashion.

Frankly, it doesn't really matter if you wear it or you don't.  What matters is realizing your true worth lies in becoming a woman with a Godly heart and gentle spirit.  That, in itself, with speak far louder than your eyeshadow and lipstick.

Girl Talk // I Want More!

Have you ever seen Charlie & the Chocolate Factory?  Remember Veruca Salt?  The girl who already has everything but starts every sentence with "Daddy, I want...."  She's kind of awful, right?

Or how about this....

Ok, maybe this girl is just adorable.  And maybe I just love these commercials.  But how true is what she says?  How often do we think "we want more! we want more!"?  

Lately, I've been feeling that ache of discontentment; of just wanting more.  More from my job, more from those around me, more from life.  I get this feeling from time to time, as I imagine most twenty-somethings do when they're still trying to figure their life out.  When it comes around, it's easy to try to cover up the feeling, to put a band-aid on it.  (For me, this often comes in buying a new dress or purse...let's call it retail therapy.)

But at the end of the day, the feeling of discontentment is there, rearing it's ugly head, and staring me in the face, taunting me with what "could be".  It's a season that is hard to weather, and one that is easy to feel stuck in.

1 Timothy 6:6-7 says this:  But godliness actually is a means of great gain, when accompanied by contentment.  For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either.

Oh man.  Conviction, right?  If we are to be godly, then we are also called to be content.  Honestly, contentment means so much more than just not wanting more stuff.

It means finding value in where God has put you.  It means looking around you and thinking "How can I be an influence on the people I interact with every day?  How can I bless those I come in contact with?  What opportunities is God placing in front of me that I might not have if my life were different?"

I think we need to go through seasons of discontentment in order to realize the beauty in what we have.  The thing is, the world is kind of poised to make us feel like we're always missing out.  We're constantly bombarded with photos of the exciting and magical trips our friends are taking, or advertisements for things we don't have and can't afford.  And it's really easy to take all of that in and feel like your life just doesn't measure up.  

But contentment comes from finding things in your present to be thankful for.  It comes in valuing the relationships you do have and not pining after someone else's seemingly-perfect ones.  It comes in being joyful and appreciative and prayerful.  It comes in asking Jesus to create a spirit of contentment within you, and then digging deep and blooming where you're planted.  

It's a lesson I'm working on learning.  

GIRL TALK | I WANT MORE!

Have you ever seen Charlie & the Chocolate Factory?  Remember Veruca Salt?  The girl who already has everything but starts every sentence with "Daddy, I want...."  She's kind of awful, right?

Or how about this....

Ok, maybe this girl is just adorable.  And maybe I just love these commercials.  But how true is what she says?  How often do we think "we want more! we want more!"?  

Lately, I've been feeling that ache of discontentment; of just wanting more.  More from my job, more from those around me, more from life.  I get this feeling from time to time, as I imagine most twenty-somethings do when they're still trying to figure their life out.  When it comes around, it's easy to try to cover up the feeling, to put a band-aid on it.  (For me, this often comes in buying a new dress or purse...let's call it retail therapy.)

But at the end of the day, the feeling of discontentment is there, rearing it's ugly head, and staring me in the face, taunting me with what "could be".  It's a season that is hard to weather, and one that is easy to feel stuck in.

1 Timothy 6:6-7 says this:  But godliness actually is a means of great gain, when accompanied by contentment.  For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either.

Oh man.  Conviction, right?  If we are to be godly, then we are also called to be content.  Honestly, contentment means so much more than just not wanting more stuff.

It means finding value in where God has put you.  It means looking around you and thinking "How can I be an influence on the people I interact with every day?  How can I bless those I come in contact with?  What opportunities is God placing in front of me that I might not have if my life were different?"

I think we need to go through seasons of discontentment in order to realize the beauty in what we have.  The thing is, the world is kind of poised to make us feel like we're always missing out.  We're constantly bombarded with photos of the exciting and magical trips our friends are taking, or advertisements for things we don't have and can't afford.  And it's really easy to take all of that in and feel like your life just doesn't measure up.  

But contentment comes from finding things in your present to be thankful for.  It comes in valuing the relationships you do have and not pining after someone else's seemingly-perfect ones.  It comes in being joyful and appreciative and prayerful.  It comes in asking Jesus to create a spirit of contentment within you, and then digging deep and blooming where you're planted.  

It's a lesson I'm working on learning.  

Girl Talk // Choose Your Attitude

Games are a pretty regular part of volunteer training at our church.  This particular "game" was a relay race of sorts, requiring a team to be split in two and then to toss a fish (like a large, whole, dead, slimy fish) back and forth until each person in the line had touched it.  And if it was dropped, then the team had to start over.  Gross.

This game, I think, was intended to be fun and reminiscent of fish markets in Seattle (the training had a fish theme), but instead, it left me feeling icky and I think I complained a lot.  I would have rather tossed a cupcake, or cotton candy, or even a tomato.  

The point is, like the fish that I was throwing, my attitude stunk.  And guess what?  Sometimes, my attitude stinks in other situations. 

It seems sad that I took me until my early twenties to really understand that I needed to learn to choose my attitude.  While I'm sure there's no one on Earth who is perfect at this all the time, I can think of a few people who are pretty darn good at it.  And you know what?  Those same people are ones that I always feel calm and joyful around.

Life isn't always happy.  Sometimes, it can be really hard.  It's hard to always follow God.  It's hard to always be positive.  It's hard to always be nice to others.  But hey, that's what we're called to.  Philippians 2:5 says "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus."

If you think about the fruits of the spirit, we're called to a spirit of gentleness and of self control.  I know from teaching that self control is hard for elementary school students.  But I also know from life that it isn't much easier for adults.  And choosing your attitude is all about self control!

Do you ever say something and immediately wish you could grab the words back?  Like, they're coming out of your mouth and your brain is saying "Nooooooooo!!!!  Why are you making noise?!" as it's happening?  I'm a pretty sarcastic and snarky person, and it's really easy for me to respond with that sarcasm in most situations.  And that tendency has put me into those "Oh my word, why am I talking right now?' situations quite a few times.  

I'm often in a situation where I audibly have to remind myself that I need to choose my attitude.  I can choose to be upset or terse or sad or sarcastic about things, or I can choose to be gentle and joyful.  And the thing is that when we choose our attitude wisely, it affects others.

Ironically, this whole post sounds like something we'd teach in children's church, but how often do we forget to "make the right choice" as adults?  Have you ever dealt with a difficult person at work...maybe someone who is complaining about something silly or demanding something unreasonable...or maybe you've been that person?  On both sides of that situation there lies a choice.  A choice about what type of attitude you're going to have and how you're going to respond.  Life is so much more pleasant when we all choose wisely, isn't it?